After weighing myself for the first time in months over the weekend and giving myself a thorough shock, I am back on the old healthy eating and feeling a lot better for it. I'm very angry with myself for letting it all go (yet again) and I do wonder if I will ever get 'there'. Each time it happens I have less and less confidence in my ability to push it through to the end. Not a terribly helpful mind-set, is it? It's better to feel good about oneself, but right now I'm not managing that terribly well at all.
There's something about 'junk' food that is addictive. It's not very nice, sometimes actually nasty with an unpleasant aftertaste, and yet one eats more and more of it without getting any of the satisfaction one gets from a small amount of home cooked food and certainly without most of the flavour and texture. So why? Why?
I am very thankful that there's supplies of cooked from fresh stuff in the freezer, making things very easy after a long and busy day. Perhaps a few weeks of healthy eating, taking me up to half term and then time to cook some nice meals from scratch, will do me the world of good because right at the moment I feel miserable: stodgy, weak willed and a right failure where eating and weight are concerned. Not at all nice.