Wednesday 21 July 2021

Wednesday

 Good morning, everyone.   It is another warm and semi-cunny start to the day although the skies are a bit - oh, what's the word? - not totally blue.  Not overcast, just not clear.  As I was driving home yesterday afternoon, there was a short and heavy shower here; I could see the evidence on roads and in the puddles, but I went through nothing, dry all the way.  Then it cheered up again and felt less hot and stuffy.  

I have two days to cover so here goes.  The drive up early on Monday was lovely.  Bright, sunny and not too hot.  There were various bits of paperwork to co-sign and I drove over to M&S in Biggleswade ro get stuff for Tuesday's lunch.  It might be a bit more, M&S, but they do some lovely foods and I felt I had a great selection of salads, packets and container of foods that would just need opening and popped onto dishes with just a few things to warm up.  

In the afternoon John had managed to get all three agents that were valuing for probate and the official contents valuer to come over at staggered intervals and by the afternoon we had a good idea of the house value and also which agency we want to ask to handle the actual sale, when the time comes.  To our relief, the contents valuer turned out to be a lovely lady around the same age as my two who looked around very thoroughly, wasn't the least bit concerned that we'd already started clearing and said no, she didn't need to see photos of what had already been handed out, thank you.  As expected, there's very little real value in the contents which is fine because tax will have to be paid on the value, even though we're not selling any of it.

I am so very grateful for your lovely, kind messages of support.  You've helped to see me through it all.
The funeral itself was as I know Dad wanted it to be because he mentioned it several times and modelled it for Mum's funeral.  Malcolm's words about Dad were just so lovely and the Methodist order of service is not at all 'fussy'.  Yes, there were tears and John and I supported each other through it, but there was no regret in those tears, just a huge sense of loss and a gladness that we had such a super Dad (and Mum).

Then it was back to what I will always call 'Mum and Dad's house' where John did social duties while I whizzed around opening container and getting everything out.  It was a nice spread  and, although I feared I had way too much, by the time people had gone back for seconds and John had taken some for his journey back (seven hours or so) and dinner, there was hardly anything left at all.  Phew.

I gave everywhere a good tidy up, set the good old dishwasher, made sure the fridge had nothing in it that would turn nasty before my next visit and then forgot to take my bananas from the fruit bowl.  Ooops.  I'll let Gail know and she can have them, if she wants, when she comes tomorrow.

Then, in the evening, back at home, Dave, Anna, Beth and Alex came over and we had take away Chinese, wine and a good old chat.  I was glad not to be alone.  Beth and Al have stayed overnight and are still upstairs, sleeping sweetly, I hope.

And so we move on.  Dad tried to make all matters pertaining to his 'estate' as simple as possible but it can't be that simple given that he has left a fair old bit in house value and investments.  John is taking the lead in all of that with my support, and I thank him very much for it.  Numbers are not my forte.

I can start clearing again now but, as I've said before, there's time.  All the agents advised us to keep the furniture and some of the books, ornaments, etc, in place so that it looks home-like which confirmed what we'd already planned to do.  It helps so much that we don't have to make any sudden decisions about anything.  Yes, it drags things out, but the whole probate thing is a process that can't be rushed and one has to do it all by the book.

Today is what I am thinking of as the first day moving forward again.  Funerals give a sense of closure, don't they?
So - Beth and Al are here and will go home late afternoon, I expect.  I have personal training at midday and them Beth and I will be allotment bound to water and de-leaf the potatoes in order to do our best to prevent them from getting blighted.  Fingers crossed.  If I can find the seeds, I will sow the first lot of dwarf French beans which grow so quickly and should be giving us lovely little beans in around a month's time and through the autumn.  Lovely!

I'm just off into the garden now to give the pots their breakfast watering.  Have a great day, stay cool and carry on!  xx

15 comments:

  1. Glad things went to plan. A funeral really does give closure as you say. I don't always comment on your blog but read every day and want to know that I love it.It feels like I know you and your family personally.Take care and keep well

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    1. That's a really lovely thing to say, thanks, Jane. How nice that you feel you know me.
      xx

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  2. Glad it all went as planned, you all did your parents proud with a lot of love, and now, as you say, a sense of closure, i.e. enabling you all to take a breather and move on to the next stage. xx

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  3. Funerals are never easy, well done on getting through everything with the love and support of your family. I hope things get a bit easier for you now, Joy, and that selling the house goes smoothly in due course. xx

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    1. Thanks, Sooze. I do think things will be easier in some ways. Things move on, life goes on, and we have to handle things. I think most people know exactly what I mean.
      xx

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  4. I'm glad the funeral went as planned. It does mark the closure of one stage and the progression to the next but you can do things in your own time now. I hope probate and the sale of the house goes smoothly for you. xx

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  5. Pleased everything went smooth Joy also the weather.
    Take each day as it comes now, a know from my Son's passing recently there will still be bad days but it does get better.
    Thinking of you.
    Hazel
    🌈🌈

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  6. As you move forward you have such lovely memories of your Dad and Mum. I'm glad that all went well and that you had your family around you for support. BTW, I'm a "Methodist" here in the states and I understand when you say the service wasn't "fussy." Take good care of yourself and rest after all this activity. Sending hugs.

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  7. I'm glad all went smoothly. For some reason we rushed on clearing my Dad's house after he died and there were things I might have kept, so it's good to take a bit of time.

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  8. Thank you for writing such a lovely summary of these past couple of days. Not easy ones, to be sure; filled with sad, but loving memories. So glad things went well. Even the tears shed were tears shared. You weren't alone. A real blessing. Please take time in the days and weeks to come to relax and simply breathe. Simply be. xx

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  9. Thank you yet again, everyone. Such lovely thoughts.
    Yes, I have some great memories and a very fine and gentle man with a heart as big as the world.
    xx

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  10. I'm glad everything went as well as could be expected, Joy, and that the funeral has given you a sense of closure. You always wrote so fondly of your dad and I know you will carry those precious memories with you.
    Take care. X

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  11. Joy love I have just noticed that the comment that I thought I left here the other day isn't there. I can't have pressed the publish button but please know that I was thinking of you.

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