Saturday 3 July 2021


 Good morning.  After a lovely, sunny day yesterday, I was a bit dismayed to look out upon a wet world again today.  It's obviously been raining for some time and looks set to continue.  Thankfully, today is an inside day; there's nothing we have to do that takes us outside for any reason.

I didn't enjoy the drive up yesterday.  There seems no point now, there's no one to see the other end and it's just a drive.  I think it is the first time that my soul hasn't rejoiced in the changing seasons, the landscape, the hedgerows, etc.  A shame, but I am sure it will all come back again in due course.

I did enjoy my first time back at Slimming World after the Zoom Meetings.   It was nice to see people again and there were a number of people there whose children I have taught in the past.  It's always nice to see ex-parents.

Then I went home, pottered and packed and set out.

The time with the funeral directors was harder than I expected, not because there were any big decisions to make - there weren't - it was just the emotional impact.  Being absolutely sure of Dad's wishes meant that there was very little to discuss.  It's not going to be an open coffin, that's not what out family does, so no decisions about what Dad wears or anything like that.  All very basic but there were little touches that are thoughtful.  They will put a notice in the local paper about Dad's death, set up a Giving Page for donations to the local hospice, all that sort of thing.  And there will be a podcast.
One lovely thing that nearly set me off is that the ashes will be scattered in the same place that Mum's ashes were scattered.  Such a little thing but how lovely is that!

Beth arrived in the evening and we had a good old chat but I was so weary that I went off to bed early-ish and, for once, slept the whole  night through.

So - today!
Morning is clothes, I think, as that's the hardest task.  Afternoon can be photos and then wrapping up some or all of the china Beth is taking with her.  I'm not sure it can all go in one journey, not because of space in the car but in terms of bags to carry it but we'll give it a good go.

Have a lovely day, whatever is on your schedule, and take care.  xx


  1. You are doing really well,so glad Beth is going to be with you . Sorting out your loved ones things is a really tough job.Its a really difficult time for you and your family but thank goodness you have each other . Thinking of you

    1. Thanks, Jane. It's lovely to have such a supportive family. xx

  2. Is it early days yet Joy and you are doing so well. Keep yourself busy and have little naps when you need to.
    Thinking of you.
    Hazel 🌈🌈

  3. I can relate entirely to your reasons for not liking the journey. You are grieving and the reason for the journey is full of sorrow, but given time you will be able to appreciate all the lovely things around you again.

    Tough job to do this morning but it's good that you can tackle it together with Beth.

  4. My father died when I was 33 (now 70), but I still remember going to the funeral home and making arrangements. One thinks they are prepared, as in your case where you already knew your father's wishes, but it that unanticipated stab of grief in finalizing everything that catches us by surprise and sometimes just overwhelms us. Glad that Beth could be with you in the evening. I'm sure just her presence was balm to your soul. Today won't be easy, but know that you are being lifted up by others who understand your pain and only wish they could lift it from you. Be gentle with yourself and allow Beth and others to care for you, too. x

  5. I know exactly what you mean about the scattering of the ashes. We had exactly the same thing when we arranged our Mum's funeral and was told they could scatter her ashes in the same place as Dad's were placed.

    I hope today is going well for you. You have three tough tasks at a time when your emotions are so intense, and I'm glad you're not trying to do it alone.

  6. All the feelings that are part of the grieving process.. sad times for you but you'll get through it and surprise yourself.. take care.xx

  7. Thank you, everyone, for your kindness and understanding. xx