Saturday, 1 January 2011

Saturday: New Year morning - a time for reflection

In my other blog, the Food Diary of a Teacher, I said:

May we all have a 2011 that suits us and helps us to grow in kindness, compassion and character.

. . . and I would like to wish this to all my lovely readers, old and new. Thanks for staying with my blog this year and I hope I don't bore you too much this coming year!

New Year is a funny time, isn't it? It's just another day, the next day in a personal string that starts with birth and finishes with death. All that has happened really is that another day has slipped from one side or our life-string to the other. Done. Finished. Over, never to be lived again (Doctor Who to the contrary notwithstanding!).

And yet, because we humans are what we are, we need points in our life when we can just pause and reflect, analyse and segment, look back and look forward, decide what we would like to change and take steps to make it happen. After all, our future is grounded in our past.

New Year's Resolutions.
From a very small child, like most of us, I am sure, I liked to set for myself almost impossible targets - no sweets, saving my pocket money instead of spending it all the first day, being nice to *** (better not say the name in case there's a very, very remote chance that she reads this blog) - targets that fell by the wayside the day I got my pocket money or met up with ***.
As I got older it was things like getting my homework done the night it was set (hollow and hysterical laughter), keeping my bedroom tidy . . . and cutting down on sweets.
As an adult, they ranged from keeping up with the housework to keeping up to date with my planning, losing some weight . . . etc.

See the pattern? I do. And have all these resolutions made a difference? No, not really. I still struggle with food management, I still have a messy house, I still leave some things until the last possible moment. That's me all over and all the 'resolutions' in the world won't change the basic me.

So no list of Resolutions this year.
I guess you could say that my resolution is to not have Resolutions! I know what works and what leads to blips and stumbles - mostly, anyway. I have strategies. I have learnt that I am what I am and I like me (most of the time, anyway). I try to make 'good' choices. I try to be kind and compassionate and to guard my character against onslaughts. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't. That's life. When I succeed it's great and when I fail, maybe I learn something from it. I still feel myself sinking into misery and 'depression' at times and I'd like to handle those times a bit better, a bit more positively. I'd like a tidier house but recognise that while it's down to me it ain't going to happen all the time. I'd like to be fitter and healthier with the resulting weight loss and I'm hoping I might get closer to that this year, but I now accept that it's always going to be a struggle and an up and down road for me, as it is for just about everyone. It has to be worked at, it won't just 'happen', there will be battles, some of which I will win, some I will lose. But I know that one can lose a battle but still finally win the war!

May we all win our wars, whatever happens in our individual battles!

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